When I last wrote to this blog, my situation was growing bleaker by the day. I continued to go nowhere fast with interviews and had started full time at a $20 an hour manual labor job. I was grateful to have the job and the people there were funny and nice. A little crazy, but that’s everywhere and makes things exciting.
I ended up getting a fast interview with a defense contractor, and was told that they were looking to move quickly. I had the interview and thought it went wonderfully and was told by the recruiter that they had one more interview but that things were looking good for me.
I couldn’t relax for all of that weekend. I think I was working anyways, but really just couldn’t do anything other than try to not think about the job.
Their final interview was on Monday afternoon. I awoke to a phone call on Tuesday with the recruiter making an offer to me. I accepted it with little hesitation. More money, better hours, I had a friend that worked there and loved it.
The next day, I was working on this big open farm space setting up an event for some unexciting corporation’s event. It was at least 90 degrees and the sun was fully beating down on us for 10 hours. I think we left for the farm at 7, got there at 8 and didn’t leave until 4. Then we came back at 7 and didn’t leave until 10:30. Around mid-day, I got a phone call from the company again. My heart dropped out of my chest as I feared the absolute worst.
“We made a mistake…”
“We had to cancel the role…”
Things I had heard before. Terror flooded my nervous system and I froze in the back of the truck, anxiously waiting for the news…
It was nothing. The recruiter who made the offer yesterday went on vacation and his cover didn’t realize the offer was already made, so he was basically offering me the job for a second time.
I wouldn’t start for a whole ‘nother month. There was some HR issue that pushed my start date out another week to where I started just before labor day.
I didn’t care, I finished work at the event company and had a week to prepare myself for the job.
I had a roommate moving in the following week – an overall net positive that I’ll talk about later – and I had to clean up the place to prepare for his arrival.
I’m 5 weeks into the job and I like it a lot. It is a closely knit team of young-ish guys with my manager being the lone woman in charge. There is a co-manager who is a very likable and ambitious young guy. My teammates are hilarious and chilled out guys.
I almost didn’t make it. When I quit my old job I said to myself, “3 months, you’ll have one in 3 months if you bear down. Worst case scenario, it takes you to the end of June — No, worth case scenario it takes until the end of July. By that point you’ll need to pick up some kind of work”.
I burned my savings, but saved myself the misery of staying through that job. I didn’t burn everything which is good. Now with a roommate, I’ll be able to build that back up much quicker than if I continued to live here alone.
Living alone can be good, but in such a big space it only made me feel lonely.
I’ve lost a lot of weight…and hair…in the last few months. The manual labor job was essentially a fat camp for me and I never slacked off there. I remember after the first few days, my calves had never burned so badly in my life. My forearms were raw, completely sore. My overall body strength had increased on a weekly basis.
Once I switched over to my new job, I have kept up a weight lifting/workout routine and my confidence has gone to a new peak in the last 2-3 years.
My head is buzzed too. I had a near panic-induced heart attack at the revelation of a massive sunroof on the top of my head. I mean, fucking massive. It’s not completely balded out, but the hair is so fucking thin it may as well be. I nearly shit when I took a photo of it.
I cancelled all weekend plans and scavenged for a barber on a Sunday. Do you know how many barbers are open on a Sunday? Fucking zero!!!
Fortunately, I found one, despite the google business information being completely wrong and outdated. It was appointment only, but the owner took pity on my soul and let me come back a few hours later.
With the buzz, I felt safe again.
I guess I care about my appearance quite a bit.
Anyway, I’d say I’ve recovered quite a bit since March. I’m more content, more confident, and getting better every day.
I’ve been dreaming a lot more lately. Torturous love dreams. Waking up from that is probably the worst way to start a day. In the last week, I had one with my former girlfriend and I, back together and in-love again. I’m 90% sure it was just a replay of one of my early memories with her at her house. A memory I honestly am shocked I still have a grip on. That time period with COVID and my weed-smoking habits has left those memories in a thick haze.
The other dream was of a friend that I’ve always felt a slight connection and attraction towards. Not going to lie, I kinda liked that one and woke up a little late after trying to fall back asleep into that dream.
Didn’t work and I’m stuck in the reality where that isn’t an imminent scenario. Notice how I didn’t say, ‘a reality where that won’t happen’.
Anything is possible. And I am certainly one, lucky son of a gun.
Blanc Thoughts 