Blanc Thoughts

It is rather hilarious that I haven’t been on here since January when I declared that this would be the greatest year ever.

Since then, I have joined a social dodgeball league and made a new friend, went on a tear of nights out in March, and started a short-lived relationship from mid-March to the first or second week of May.

I had my heart totally broken by that relationship. I had high hopes for it and was blindsided by the ending.

I really don’t even know what to say about it. It was good, great, and then I went to Las Vegas for 5 days and when I returned it was over.

The reasons I was given made 0 sense. None at all. In fact some of them were straight up untrue. Most likely, something better came along and I got the boot. I don’t know and I don’t really care to know any more about it than I already might.

I got burned, but we’ll bounce back.

It happened on a Sunday, two weeks ago, and that following week I barely slept and was practically running on mania and caffeine. I woke up early as hell every day and got to work an hour earlier than I usually do. I focused on work and that was really it.

People showed out for me that week with kindness. Close coworkers were upset for me. More upset than I was. They were sad to see me with a broken heart. Because they care about me. My friends rallied to go to the club that Friday so we could see the DJ I met on the plane to Vegas. Something tells me they already knew what was going to happen.

I was given a handmade orange creamsicle float by the members of a factory that I help at work. I was gifted a starbucks coffee and treat by my boss. My boss’s boss even was sad for me, but to him, all I said was “We’ll bounce back.”. Because what am I gonna do, whine to this guy about my problems?

It is very obviously the girl’s loss and whatever her true reasons, they’re solely her problem and not mine.

I’m not perfect, but I’m open, loving, and moldable. I’m strong and smart with a good career.

I’m not some libbed-out bum that spends his money on tattoos and bullshit. I’m a hardworking jock-nerd half-breed who will get another tattoo when I have money to blow. Fuck traveling the world when everything that matters is right here. The race is on to buy land here and I will not be left behind so that I can fraternize with Euros who hate Americans. I’ll travel when I’m old.

I want to go around New England and enjoy what I can drive to. Fuck it all.

Obviously, I’m still a little upset over it all and will be for a while.

Thank god Drake dropped 3 banger albums the Friday before it happened.

Anyway. I haven’t been sitting here thinking “oh this is the worst year ever”. Sure I got dumped but it doesn’t matter — had sex.

She won Game 1. I didn’t see it coming, I was unprepared and off for a week. She had so much time to game plan and get her roster ready and I spent the whole game reacting.

I proceeded to drop Game 2 in a close one. I texted her a day later “inviting her out” to the plans Friday. But I added a bitter concluding sentence that was very confusing upon further reflection. I sent another text apologizing for it, saying I was in pain, and that this was the last she’d hear from me.

Game 3, I was pretty much over it by the weekend. Sure my heart still hurts and it really hurts to think about it too hard, but that’s pretty much the standard for all my heartbreaks. What’s important is I’m no longer thinking “I can save this” or “If I had 2 dozen roses, would it change your mind?”.

I will win the series because I’m a winner and that’s what I do. I always land on my feet. I always bounce back. You cannot keep me down, and my fire is lit by spite and the chip on my shoulder.

I will give the love to the next person and pray that they are the right one.

We’ve got 3 more games to win. We’re going to do it this summer.

More life!